melancholic musings

For the first time I feel like I'm really getting old. I don't have to wait 10 days...the Ql-C monster is right outside my doorstep.

Quarterlife. So this is how it feels. Pardon me for being so EMO about this.

The account is hanging by a thread... when it ends, I don't know what I'll do with my life.

This is how Neo must've felt when morpheus told him about the "real world." If there's a blue pill and red pill to choose from, I'd probably take the blue pill... "where the story ends" where I'd wake up in my bed and believe whatever I want to believe so my life would be easy again....

I want to go back to the place where my dreams were crystal clear...

...like in kindergarten, when I all I wanted was to draw...so I drew on the wall, on the floor, on our dictionary set...

...or before graduating, when planned to take Mass Comm because I decided I'll be a commentator in PBA.

...or in college, when my boss noticed that I had an eye for photography.

In 10 days, I'll be 25. I never thought of myself as an adult. Being the youngest in a brood of 4, acting like a baby comes naturally. Now, I'm coming to terms with my responsibilities as an adult...and I feel stagnant-- like a puddle of water waiting for the sun to dry it up. The world is indeed a jungle, competitive and less forgiving.

I am afraid of being disillusioned. I long for the times I saw life through rose-colored glasses.

I need to read the alchemist again.