mawkish mode

I was feeling sad last night… for particularly no good reason. I guess there are those days when everyone is sulking around and you can’t help but sulk with them. Yesterday I was feeling tired… tired of my life…tired of watching myself doing the same routine day after day, making me feel so ordinary, so “run of the mill-ish.”

While people get their hearts broken, I watch them cry. While people fall in love, I watch them feel giddy. While people have something going on for them, I watch…listen… and be present. A mere spectator… and it frustrates me. I have dreams, and I just keep dreaming. I feel so stuck. Like being buried underneath the covers at the start of a new day, not wanting to get up with eyelids wrestling to stay awake. I feel so stagnant, like a big puddle of water waiting for the sun to dry it up.

I wonder when would things start happening for me… hell, when would I start making things happen?!

the sun is sure to shine
for you and me, for everyone
so don’t be sad it’s just the start
of a new beginning in your life

rain will keep on pouring
some things you can’t control
and while the sun seems far and hard to hold
it will unfold

there will always be a blue sky
a blue sky waiting tomorrow.

(Blue Sky - Hale)

***

my horoscope says:

Try not to get weighed down by your own emotions today, but make sure you give them the opportunity to have their time in the spotlight. You may find that there is a strong force working to cover up the truth of what you really feel. Make sure you express yourself openly and honestly. At the same time, you don't want to be so over-dramatic that you blow things out of proportion and add more melodrama to the situation.

Haha. Yeah I guess I was overly-dramatic.